Sunday, July 25, 2004

alternative mainlining

if there is an 'alternative' of something, wait long enuf and it will be mainstream. everybody longs to be 'cool', 'unique', innovative...cutting edge... but when everybody starts doing it, whatever 'it' may be,it's no longer cool, its for the masses. when i was a kid it was hippies. but after a few years, every housewife from boston to boise was wearing bell bottoms and love beads. the mainline media has decided they are NOT gonna let the bloggers stay underground. (isnt CNN and blogging a contradiction in terms?)now exposed to the putrid stench of vultures, may the cybergod grant the wisdom to blog with unabashed honesty, never pose or posture, and the wisdom to recognize the difference...

Friday, July 23, 2004

trying to blog...

well, i was all ready to jump in here with both feet and blogger goes and upgrades everything leaving poor little me to stir in festering frustration juices. well, just like geek guru black bastard told me, its ALWAYS human error. hehehe.... by the way BB, where are you? ZXCVBNM!!!!!?????????!!!!!

Sunday, July 04, 2004

busy week for independence

well, bremer's gone, the folder was changed from blue to green... (or was it the other way around?) there was a hint of sarcasm in I.'s voice when he said, "so now we are liberated..." but he has hope, we have hope... what else can we have? why did they let the pimp whore open his mouth any more than to state his name? he should have been dressed in shackles and orange coveralls! dear allah, if you are so merciful and all-knowing, dont give that scum ANY day in court or anywhere else! let the people he oppressed have thier day!!!! it's a feat only modern man can afford, to live a life in one place while vicariously living many others in many places through contacts and communication, imagination... i am learning the power of imagination/mind. i'm not anywhere near the old 'DAI NI FURUSATO', but my mind/heart are still there in spades. the insignificant spaces of a roadside flood my mental space so strongly as if i was there... dear god i scoured minami izu on my hands and knees! all those days of snake strawberry picking and wandering for flowers, scenes, places to live... am i nostalgic? absolutely! i knew this would be a struggle for the rest of my time on earth. i knew after the first year there my life would never be the same. i knew the longer i stayed the deeper the...scars? wounds? memories?... Chi-chan sent me a box...i knew she would be the first. we planned to grow old together after the old farts moved on to the realm of paradise...who knows, perhaps we still will. but now i know it will not be permanently in that breathtakingly beautiful god forsaken wilderness i love so much. but then again, in 20 years or so, all the assholes that made my life pretty miserable there will be dead and gone so then again, who knows.... in the meantime, its reality show in present progressive. the here and now is here and now is where i long to stay here and now! m. is an angel, and life with an angel is heaven! i proclaim today my independence day from the shackles of memory!!!