to gush or to bleed

should i gush or should i bleed? a human being is capable of so much emotional pain, just another twisting screw in the side of life of the human spirit. how can we be so miserable and so happy at the same time? m. just makes me love him more and more with each mail, not just the good stuff you know, it is the honesty that floors me. telling me all his faults, all his truths...we will try to do a phonecall in november. i went back and checked the date we found each other last year... it was thanksgiving, no shit... it was thanksgiving day. it will be our first anniversary from now, the day we are most thankful for, finding each other again... looks like i choose gushing over bleeding anytime!