boar wars

you know youre out in the boonies when its not safe to go out at night without a firearm. no, its not crazy madmen who might attack you, its boars! this is the time of the year when they are most active at raising hell all over. rice and sweet potato harvests are devoured in a single night. they are rooting all the fields just in front of the house! when they finish thier search for grubs and worms it looks like someone has just gone hog wild with a roto tiller. so i was going to take a walk like usual tonight but the cloudy sky makes for pitch black conditions and i am not a pussy, so i wont carry a flashlight. but i am a pussy when it comes to serious rustling just off the side of the road and it sounds like it is coming my way. and they do attack. can you imagine? "here lies the body of foreigner, eaten alive by pigs"...