whiner

i really just feel like whining, i am sick of loss. i am sick of going without the simplest things, (but am still basking in central heating:). but the loss thing is so painful i cant even seem to write about it. from a letter full of it to a great radio show i listen to the podcast of while i am working. i spent the summer painting her picture and now she is dead. why didnt he call me? i just dont know how to handle the twists of emotion that come from there. just avoiding them wont work forever. and damn, i grow attached to a bunch of people i will never meet, who have made my workday quite sweet, to the point of actually getting excited about going to work to listen to the likes of sammy the stem cell and cardinal milphington. damn you air america!!!!