Too apathetic for words...

With that title i should leave a whole blank post but the absence of much writing is just the point. I love VAGINA MITE so much, i think of writing to her every post, she is so funny and honest and all the things that make a great writer. She makes me so homesick for my aussie friends...choke choke... but the point is she fucking writes! I have looked around a lot for personal blogs that are actually interesting and they are hard to find. But that was kinda not the point at all here, i know nobody reads this, hehehe, so more the reason to have no fear of a little therapeutic writing. It really does clear my head. And the post i read at VM today ended just like that, a catharsis for writing that bit of drama out. I am just sick of floundering in my own personal drama cuz i cant make the baby steps to pull myself out of it. My mother of all people gave me a bit of encouragement that i was plenty young enough to do something in my life and i guess she is right. I am afraid Jaypan is so entrenched in my brian i keep thinking i am on the dead heap after 47. Which also puts a hidden pressure on me to go back before I get that old, otherwise they wont hire me! Like i dont have enough hidden pressures i have imposed on myself already. Well anyway, i have to thank Vagina mite for all her great stories and drama, it makes me feel i am not alone in the struggle to make everybody happy and not sell out at the same time. To be yourself and let the creative juices flow without being an ego-maniac...