praying

i posted a confession in here a while back and yanked it. d. made me nervous... you never know who might be looking he sez... well, life is an open book for some, a closed one for others. i prefer the pages to get some air, instead of locked up on a shelf where only the author has the priviledge to take a voyeuristic peek. i am in love with a man. he stole my heart 20 some years ago, i worshipped him as the ideal guy. and now we have found each other. we love mutually, we long mutually, we wait mutually... he is in baghdad. he patrols and does checkpoints. he gets shot at. he has come to love the iraqis. he gives the kids the toys i send and his iraqi friends give him cheap valium to get him through the nights. i have yet to walk through the gates of hell that wait my departure. i live in a world that is not my own. i conform, i give in , i keep my mouth shut...i 'quit my bitchin and get in the kitchen'... pray he gets home safe, pray i do too...