pure silence

i cant write anything tonight. i cant talk when i am sobbing, and the snot is running in to my mouth... so rivers' problem is not yours you might say. she cant even leave the house to buy eggplants without an escort!?! i wish all the fundamentalists from cults, sects, religions and just plain whackos, would meet in thier own versions of hell and have it out with each other and leave the rest of us the fuck alone!!!! i keep telling myself, 'thy will be done'... mashallah, mashallah... rumi jumps out and grabs me... 'a certain sufi tore his robe in grief, and the tearing brought such relief, he gave the robe the name faraji, which means ripped open or happiness, or one who brings the joy of being opened. it comes from the stem, faraj, which also refers to the genitals, male and female. his teacher understood the purity of the action, while others just saw the ragged appearance. if you want peace and purity, tear away the coverings. this is the purpose of emotion, to let a streaming beauty flow through you. call it spirit, elixir, or the original agreement between yourself and god. opening into that gives peace, a song of being empty, pure silence.'