scared

yeah, i am getting scared... cold feet? never, just scared. scared to post here, scared to think of the shape of things to come. but damn if i am gonna back out. when things are meant to happen, you cant back out. you can delete to your hearts content but the deleted data never really leaves the system. when your system fails and you figure it out and you reboot... there comes your shit right in your face again. i wait, i try to let my mind wander, but it always wanders back to him. i wait some more, you know the mail takes five weeks, so just chill honey, some things just cant be said on a pc... in somebody else's space...in a hellish prison with rpg's and mortar rounds flying... i havent been to a movie house in five years. i havent seen tv in over three years.(well, with the exception of those south park and daily show vids D.& T.sent me) i havent eaten a decent pizza in that long either. are those the things that matter? no, it is who you see the movie with that matters....babe, i got it so bad for you.... going out on that boat just made it hurt more... but i will go out again and i will learn those knots and i will learn how to tack, cuz it will be a big part of us as a team... a good team. one that rocks the house! scared? yeah, shakin in my boots... but those nerves are what propel the machine to take the steps that wait to be taken...