honne and tatemae

there are ways of thought that a westerner will probably never grasp. east is east and west is west after all.... honne= true sound/ tatemae= standing in front... tatemae is what you say and show to the outside. honne is that deep secret self of your true feelings. you don't expose your true self to others, even your mate. you "gaman", you bite back the real you , you swallow your humble pie cheerfully and always make harmony the priority. when i hear the iraqis say, "yankee go home"... surely many are doing the tatemae thing. we as westerners see these traditions as sneaky, underhanded... "why don't you say what you really mean???" we don't pride beating around the bush, we pride cutting the damn bush down so we can communicate more honestly... is there a way to bring the two together somehow? the east and the west, the honne and the tatemae... is there a happy medium?